A steamy hookup fell apart over one strange word repeated in the bedroom

A promising, no-strings hookup with a beautiful stranger looked perfect on paper, until one bizarre phrase her partner insisted on shouting every time she climaxed finally became too much to get past.

The story reached its breaking point mid-sex, when a writer suddenly stopped everything and yelled a single line at the woman lying in her bed: 'you've got to stop saying that.' One hand was still inside Erin, the other resting gently against her face, and that was the exact moment months of patience finally ran out.

Almost the perfect hookup
Erin had nearly everything going for her as a casual partner. She was attractive, single, and looking for nothing serious, which made her ideal at a point when the writer wasn't in any state of mind for a relationship but was tired of pointless, meaningless sex. Erin slotted neatly into that gap. There was just one flaw, and it was a big one: every single time Erin reached orgasm, she sincerely, without a hint of irony, screamed one phrase, 'ascend me,' and it was, by the writer's own admission, an unbelievable turn-off.

A first look over dinner
The two first crossed paths at a restaurant, where the writer had gone to meet a friend, Freya, for drinks. Freya had just finished a meal with Erin, and as Erin got up to leave, their eyes met and the writer smiled at her. What she noticed first were Erin's green eyes, then her long brown waves bouncing off her shoulders as she moved. She was, by the writer's own account, utterly gorgeous.

Before Erin could walk out the door, the writer grabbed her arm, introduced herself, and made a point of not breaking eye contact. The flirting clearly worked, because the writer found out the next day that Erin had gone straight to Freya to ask about her. She passed along her own interest too, but kept it deliberately vague, since she didn't want Erin thinking she was looking for anything serious.

Reconnecting over drinks
Their paths crossed again properly at a pub, where they ended up sitting next to each other getting drunk with a group of mutual friends. It turned out the two had a surprising number of people in common, even though they had never actually met before, since Erin had spent that time travelling around Europe while the writer settled into the same friend group. Now Erin was back in the country and openly looking for something non-committal.

That suited the writer perfectly. She wasn't in any state of mind for a relationship, but she was tired of senseless, disconnected sex, and Erin fit neatly into her life. After a night of drinking at the pub, the two shared a kiss and went their separate ways, both too drunk to take it any further that night. But they stayed connected through a shared WhatsApp group, which meant the writer always knew when Erin was heading to a party, and whether it was worth bothering with makeup that evening.

The 'vibes' comment that should have been a warning
About a month after that first kiss, the pair ran into each other again at a friend's birthday party in a bar in London, and hooked up for a second time. A kiss led to touching, which led to whispering, which led to the two of them slipping out of the party to head back to the writer's flat. As they stepped through the door, Erin stopped, smiled, and took a deep breath. 'The vibes here are great,' she said happily.

'The vibes?' the writer asked, laughing out loud. Erin, however, was completely serious, and looking back, that reaction alone should have been the first warning sign. Erin wasn't just beautiful, she was a beautiful, deeply spiritual hippie, and that side of her personality was about to become a real source of irritation.

The phrase that changed everything
They went straight to bed, and the writer took a more dominant role that first time, something that ended up becoming her default position in their hookups. She wasn't upset about that role at all, later wondering if some part of her had already wanted to be the dominant one, possibly triggered by that odd 'vibes' remark. But then, right as Erin was about to climax, she screamed out the most ordinary-sounding, yet completely jarring, phrase: 'Ascend me!'

Erin's eyes were wide open, fixed on the ceiling, and she was smiling with total happiness. The writer's face, by contrast, twisted into something closer to a grimace. 'Ascend me?' she whispered, pulling her fingers out and shifting to lie beside Erin instead. Before she could even ask what Erin had meant, Erin turned and kissed her deeply, and every thought about the strange phrase vanished from her mind, at least for that night.

Trying, and failing, to get past it
The memory resurfaced the next time they were together, right as Erin approached orgasm again. The writer's hand instinctively began to pull back, almost bracing itself for the cringe she knew was coming. Erin grabbed her hand and pulled it back inside her, grinding against her as she got closer. Sure enough: 'Ascend me!' It happened all over again, and the writer admitted she absolutely hated it, rolling her eyes so hard that by the time she'd finished, Erin had already climaxed too.

Wondering if she was simply being unreasonable, the writer brought it up with a friend. Erin, for her part, had asked her to examine her own judgments about spirituality and about how different people experience sex. Taking that on board, the writer decided she would try to approach the next encounter without any judgment at all. Erin's green eyes, she reasoned, were worth the effort.

The breaking point
But when the moment came again, hovering over Erin as she began saying the phrase once more, the writer snapped and yelled at her to stop. Erin looked back, visibly annoyed that her rhythm had been broken. Feeling guilty, the writer tried to carry on, but nothing was working anymore. Eventually she realised what needed to be said instead. 'Ascend,' she muttered under her breath. Erin came instantly.

Rather than feeling triumphant, the writer described feeling dirty, as though she had betrayed the part of herself that genuinely found the phrase 'ascend me' annoying rather than erotic. It simply wasn't worth compromising on anymore, so she ended things with Erin. Every time their paths crossed after that within their shared friend group, the two no longer hooked up. Looking back, the writer concluded that she is, in fact, deeply judgmental when it comes to bedroom vocabulary, and she has made peace with that about herself.

Questions & Answers

1. Who was Erin and how did the writer meet her?
Erin was a woman the writer first met at a restaurant while meeting her friend Freya for drinks.

2. What did Erin say every time in bed?
Every time she reached orgasm, she sincerely screamed the phrase 'ascend me.'

3. Why did the writer dislike the phrase so much?
She found it completely jarring and mood-killing during sex, describing it as an unbelievable turn-off or 'ick.'

4. Where did their first and second hookups happen?
The first followed a night drinking at a pub with mutual friends, and the second happened after a friend's birthday party at a bar in London.

5. What did the writer finally say to make Erin climax?
She quietly said the word 'ascend' herself, after which Erin came instantly.

6. Why did the writer end things with Erin?
She felt that compromising by saying the word herself was a betrayal of her own feelings, so she decided to stop the hookups for good.

7. Did they stay in touch afterward?
They still saw each other through their shared friend group, but never hooked up again.

8. What did the writer conclude from the experience?
She admitted she is deeply judgmental about bedroom vocabulary, and said she has made peace with that about herself.

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