Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, Tess Daly and Vernon Kaye, and Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness are among the high-profile couples who have parted ways after long marriages. This trend is not limited to those in the public eye, as everyday couples experience similar outcomes. Data from the Office for National Statistics indicates that marriages are now most likely to end after reaching the 20-year mark. Out of 102,879 opposite-sex divorces recorded in England and Wales in 2025, 26% involved couples who had been married for at least two decades. While the private dynamics of any relationship remain hidden, legal professionals and counselors frequently encounter recurring patterns when marriages dissolve.
The marriage runs its course
While some unions terminate due to intense conflicts, many simply fade because one or both partners fall out of love and lose their emotional connection. Caroline Elliot, a partner and family law expert at Roythornes Solicitors, notes that she frequently assists clients married for 20, 25, or 30 years where the relationship has simply run out of steam. Without any outside interference, the partners grow weary of each other. Often, the departure of grown children leaves an empty nest, prompting couples to question what they share or talk about anymore.
Relationship neglect
Another gradual path to separation is what relationship counselor Mig Bennett from Therapy Finders describes as the neglected relationship. Couples often establish a healthy dynamic initially, only to lose sight of one another as life pressures mount, including raising children, job losses, family bereavements, and illnesses. Partners frequently seek assistance during major life adjustments like career milestones and parenthood, having allowed the relationship to slide down their priority list behind daily distractions and obligations.
Infidelity
According to Anuradha Kurl, a partner and solicitor at Stowe Family Law, infidelity often permeates long-term relationship breakdowns even when it is not cited as the primary catalyst. Clients might not initially mention adultery, but evidence of new relationships or separate living arrangements frequently surfaces during legal proceedings. While infidelity tends to trigger quicker separations in shorter relationships, couples in longer marriages with children and complex finances occasionally attempt reconciliation despite instances of adultery.
Money
Financial strain remains a primary source of marital conflict and ultimate separation. Economic pressures can breed resentment between partners, particularly if one person experiences job loss or remains unemployed. Under such conditions, individuals often conclude that long-term independence is preferable to ongoing financial stress. Legal professionals anticipate that financial worries tied to the cost of living crisis may increase divorce inquiries, which traditionally spike in January following tight holiday spending.
Addiction or bad behaviour
James Maguire, managing director at Maguire Family Law, categorizes behavioral issues such as excessive drinking, substance use, and criminal activity as frequent drivers of marital dissolution. Caroline Elliot cites ongoing cases involving compulsive gambling and resulting debt as direct catalysts for separation, noting that behavioral dependencies require a genuine desire from the individual to change.
Lack of intimacy
The absence of open communication regarding physical intimacy frequently creates deep misunderstandings or hostility within a marriage. Relationship experts observe that emotional connection often serves as a prerequisite for intimacy for many women, while men typically seek connection through physical affection. Unaddressed intimacy issues can gradually snowball into more severe problems, including infidelity and eventual legal separation.
Not hearing each other
A primary driver of marital breakdown involves communication failures where partners feel unheard, causing their connection to fray permanently. While improved communication can sometimes revitalize a struggling relationship, it can also reveal that the partnership has reached an irreversible end, allowing couples to part ways with reduced hostility. Negative communication patterns often manifest as cycles of criticism, defensiveness, and blame.
Abuse
Marital breakdown is frequently accelerated by physical, emotional, or economic abuse. Legal interventions often begin with applications for protective court injunctions rather than immediate divorce filings. Subtle forms of emotional and economic control, such as gaslighting and controlling behaviors, often intensify as the legal separation process unfolds.
Buyer’s remorse
Legal experts also observe instances of younger couples pursuing quick separations following a change of heart regarding their commitment. These individuals frequently decide that marriage does not align with their expectations or long-term desires, opting for an early dissolution of the union rather than remaining in an unfulfilling partnership.
Unusual grounds
Attorneys occasionally encounter highly unconventional reasons cited for divorce proceedings, ranging from disputes over gardening habits and household chores to unusual personal accusations.
